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June 24 Holy crap.I am so mad at my parents right now, and a little bit at myself.
For those who don't know her, which should be most of you, Jorden is probably my best friend. She's the person I can tell anything to, and we share practically everything with each other. She had her birthday party tonight, and I was pretty excited to go, and she really wanted to come.
But I asked my parents this morning and they said no. Me and her were crushed. Why do my parents have to be so nazi-like, controlling power freaks?! Like, holy shit, let me get out of this sheltered Christian lifestyle and let me meet someone new for once. Like... honestly. I'm so frustrated, and I don't know what to do about it, because if I try and do anything, I get punished, making it even harder to meet the people I want to. How do I get out of this life??...
Jorden, if you're reading this, I'm so sorry I couldn't come, and I'm sorry I broke my promise... I shouldn't have promised something that was out of my control. I'll make it up to you, I promise, I really do. June 02 Kay, last night.Hey everybody.
Last night, for anyone reading this who didn't go to my school dance... there was a school dance. I went, as usual, and so did "she". Being the complete wuss I am, I didn't ask her to dance the first slow dance. However... when the second dance came on, I asked her if she wanted to dance, and she said no, she had to go outside. One of our friends was crying about something, so that was an allright reason. So I went and got a drink.
When I got back in, I saw her dancing with another guy. It basically felt like she kicked me in the nuts. I was, obviously, kinda pissed off. I talked to one of her friends, who is one of my best friends, and she told me that she was, I guess, too lazy to come get me. Sure.
Final dance, I ask her to dance with me and we dance. I asked her whether she had figured out who she liked yet, she nodded, then said, "I think it's better if we just stayed friends." And so, that was it.
So, heartbroken? Eh. Heart-dissappointed? Heck yes. But you know, I gave it a shot, and I didn't lose anything except a bit of my pride, and I'm fine with just being friends.
No regrets.
Later. May 30 YCSo, last weekend I had YC. For those who've never been there, it's a huge Christian youth convention in Edmonton over the whole weekend. It was awesome, but up to Saturday night, it had been pretty normal, almost boring. But on Saturday night, after the message, Tree63 played a song that touched my heart and brought me so close to God for the rest of the night. That song was Amazing Love. Those 6 lines... "Amazing love, how can it be? That you my king would die for me, Amazing love, I know it's true, it's my JOY to honour you...", they spoke so powerfully to me...
After that, a man named Chris Tomlin took the stage. He brought over 16,000 people to their feet with the most amazing worship I've ever experienced. God was calling on those thousands of people that night, and everyone could feel it...
really, there's no way to express how powerfully I was touched that night.
Okay, other than that, the night before YC (thursday), my dad had the biggest spaz I've ever seen him have, at me and my brother. And I bet you can't guess what it was over. Not over drugs, or drinking (not that I've done any of that), or anything else like that... it was over us not wanting to mow the lawn. He was angrier than I've ever seen him, screaming at us, swearing... it was scary. That night, in that minute where he unloaded on us his anger over, what I think, his favorite hockey team losing (Oilers), he lost any respect and love he had ever gotten from me. I am so unbelievably pissed at him, I don't know what to do about it. And problem is... there is nothing I can do about it. I guess... I've just got to tough it out for another 2 years... a lovely thought. Basically... I can't wait to get out of this frickin house.
Oh yeah, and since so many have asked... yes, I still do like that girl, very much.
Later. May 24 Current thoughts, emotions, whatever.Okay, so. I'm about to dump 3 difficult weeks of complicated emotions running through my head onto you, whoever's reading this, so, prepare yourself. If there's something you don't want on here, talk to me, but right now, this is uncut stuff running through my head. First off, I don't really care if this changes how you think of me, I just really felt I needed to dump this somewhere. If you don't want to read it, click that little "x" in the corner of your window.
Okay, almost 3 weeks ago I had to let go of the first person I've ever really loved. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life, and I'm sorry I did it, but I had to... and that's it. Less than a week later, I find out she's already gotten together with another guy... that hurt like simulated death, but... I held it in, and I told her I never even knew it. I need to grow a frickin spine. Anyways, they break up like a week later, and I go on West Coast Trail... but the day before I left, I asked a girl I've cared about for a pretty long time to go out with me. This girl really doesn't know how special she is, and I really like her, and... I'm guessing most of you know how this turned out. In case you don't, she said "maybe" and from there, I couldn't get her out of my freaking head on the Trail, and then I got back and found out, then I talked to her. It hurt, a lot, but I guess I had a little warning so I suppose it could've hurt more. The Trail was beautiful, but that's another entry altogether.
So, getting back to the daily grind, I still can't get that girl out of my head and on top of that, I've got a big workload of homework that my parents are pressuring about. Parents. They're really starting to piss me off. By the time I graduate, if my parents have their way, I'll be constantly inside the house, studying, without a single friend, let alone a girlfriend. They're restricting every single facet of my life: school, spare time, they took away my computer, they're threatening to take away my bike and not let me get my licence, not letting me see girls outside of school... it's just starting to get freaking rediculous. I'm pissed, particularily at my dad, but again, I'm holding it in, because if I don't, it's just going to get worse. They're even considering not letting me go to YC. It's just starting to get into a shitty situation with them.
Oh yeah, speaking of holding it in, do you know who could use some lessons? Casey. Holy frick, man. You need to learn when to shut up. Lloyd's class is getting frickin rediculous thanks to you, because you won't stop antagonizing him. Get over your pride and shut up once in a while. It's not helping.
So, emotions dumped. Thanks for reading, if you've read so far. This is basically going to become the channel for me to express my teenage angst, so... get used to it, I guess. It's not really a side I let out very often. October 17 Livin the good lifeHey everybody, hows it going? I'm having a lot of fun lately, I've hit one of the peaks on the roller-coaster ride that is life. High schools fun, not too much bothering me. I got the old compy in my room, so it's a bit slow, but i can... write this on it, so it's all good. Sure as heck wish I was playing games on the alienware right now though... gotten past the Blue Screens of Death, so it's smooth sailing from here. I've had some girl issues, but... we've kinda worked that out. Umm... started nexopia again (mistteamride)... yeah. So I hope everybody's doing allright, I'll see ya later. Seano September 24 New computer and other stuff going onHey everybody!
Just got my new computer, which is FREAKING HUGE and totally ripping. I'm stoked :>:>:>
I'm about to go to the mall with another girl, so I'm crazy nervous.
Andrew just got the coolest helmetcam setup going on, which we tore around with yesterday.
High school's going good, getting pretty good marks and all... lots of homework. Yeah.
Um...
See ya later! September 18 Holy crap...So, I just got back from an incredible hiking trip in Lake O'Hara, in
Yoho National Park. It was truly incredible, and my eyes have been
opened. I might get flamed for this. I saw God wherever I looked, with
some truly spactacular views, everywhere I looked, and saw how
impossibly majestic it is. The rocky mountains totally kicks anything
the east has :p. Anyways, I come back sore, bruised, scratched, tired,
and really, really, happy I went. I love being in Calgary, just so I
can go into the mountains, 2 hours away. I'll have pictures soon, see
ya. September 08 High SchoolHey everybody!
High school is a completely different situation from middle school. For one, it actually matters, believe it or not. Also, over the last 2 days, I've gotten more homework than I did for the entire gr.9 year, but I can live with that. And everybody is so big...
Anyways, I'm sure a lot of you have seen the commercials for the iPod nano. That thing is so cool. I want one. I do, but I'm certainly not going to get one, at least till my Mini craps out.
Anyways, I've gotta go.
See ya! August 28 Well, since I'm a tad boredSince nobody's on MSN, I'm going to provide, YOU, the reader, an account of my life these days.
Work's going good. I'm getting buff, which is cool. I did the 8 footer at COP, and that's really cool. I'm faced with many more tough decisions lately... and meeting a lot of new people, much to the enmity of my parents. Seriously, if my email gets to a few more people... yeah.
Anyways, see you guys later. August 13 I don't wanna work, I just wanna bang on me drums all day...Man, warehouse work is tough stuff. Bringing heavy boxes up 20 foot ladders is hard enough, especially when you've got a mild fear of heights. I already almost fell once after just 4 days of working. It's a little scary. At least I got good pay, and it better be worth it for 9 hours, Monday to Friday. I get 3 breaks; 2 15 min breaks and an hour lunch. During those breaks, card playing is going on constantly, usually a variation on Hearts. It's a lot of fun, and Friday was the first day I didn't lose (booyah!). Anyways... I'm biking deprived, and I rode to the library today and figured out what 6 weeks in a car will do to you, I'm so out of shape it's rediculous. I could barely ride up Signal Hill, it was quite disgusting. So I'm gonna go to COP tomorrow, work hard at my job and ride as much as I can to get back into shape.
Anyways, see you guys. August 06 16647 kilometres and a heck of a tripWow... it's finally over. And sorry for not writing/coming on MSN, but computers have been in short supply. Anyways, I've got so much stuff I did since I left Quebec, so I'll just list the best places for the sake of my poor, tired brain. Just a little while ago, I went to Cedar Point, which, as any roller-coaster enthusiast will tell you, is FREAKING AWESOME. Some of you may have heard of Top Thrill Dragster, which I will include a photo of, but it boosts you to 120 mph (200 kmh) in a little less than 4 seconds. We've bought fireworks, which we shall detonate at a determined date (my mom wasn't too stoked about that). We drove the Cabot Trail, which included the best beach I have ever been to. Um... that's all I can really recall at this point. Anyways, see ya. July 12 Number 2: stupid French keyboards!!!Hey everybody!
I am currently sitting in a hotel internet room at Mont-Sainte-Anne, Quebec! Which, for my biker friends, wasn`t near as good as Blue. I`ve had a lot of fun since I last signed on, which includes: getting to know some cousins I never met, meeting up with some cousins that I know a lot better in Quebec City, and going to a variety of museums all over the place. As the people over here say, down west, us westerners get the short end of the stick. They`ve got MLB (which I went to), and some of the coolest cities and museums. But this keyboard is driving me insane. It`s got like, 4 characters per key, and the result is gibbled `s and the inability to use question marks.
Anyways, missing everybody and hoping you`re not having that much fun.
See ya! July 01 First entry: Hamilton, OnterioUPDATE!!! Hey everybody! It's been a long time without computer, and I've got just a little bit to talk about. So... when I left (Saturday), we went all the way from Calgary, and camped at around Brandon. We went to Winnipeg, visited some friends, didn't go to the Mint like I wanted, and moved on. We actually camped in the United States of America that night, and it was there where I realized how freakishly patriotic they are there compared to here. Here in Canada, for Canada Day, you might find the odd store selling T-Shirts, tattoos, etc... In the US, at the grocery store, I saw (get this) tiny boxes of cakes sporting the American Flag and Cereal in the red white and blue, among other things. Crazy. One uneventful day, and I found myself in Collingwood, Onterio, home of Blue Mountain, the BEST BIKING RESORT EVER. Ok, maybe not, but it sure kicked the crap out of COP. I did one run, all day, entitled Autobahn. Think A-Line + Treed sections of DH at COP. Awesome, I had one of the best days of my life there. Today, I got to my relative's house. It's pretty hot here, but it's compensated by the fact that my cousins have a FREAKING POOL in their backyard. It's awesome. And now, I'm at another relative's place, writing this. That's just a few of the things happening this past week. Oh yeah, more than 20 hours of driving and 3326 kilometres later, I'm currently in Hamilton, Onterio. See ya later!! June 24 The positive side, or: See ya everybody!Hey guys Since I was whining all the time in yesterday's entry, I'm gonna take a look at the good side of this trip. I've got a lot of music, we'll have a DVD player, biking movies, regular movies, 2 vehicles, and an Nintendo DS, and a new game. We'll be going to places like the Mint, Canada's Wonderland, Mont-Sainte-Anne, Blue Mountain, Montreal... I get to try lobster, see a whole bunch of relatives, and visit a whole bunch of places I've never been. Since school just finished, I'd like to tell how much I love you guys, and that I am going to miss you guys a lot. I'll be blogging and going on MSN whenever I can, just to keep everyone up-to-date. See ya later! June 23 I don't wanna go...So. I'm preparing to get out of Calgary, heading to Onterio. Crap. I really don't want to go. I want to stay here, with my friends, so I can go and bike and go to the Stampede and to Warped Tour, maybe see Dana again, work, perhaps, and just have an all-around great summer. But now I've got to spend over 50 hours, in a single vehicle, with my brother, sister, and parents. My sister will be most likely watching Legally Blonde 2. Somebody shoot me. At least I'll be able to watch some of my "violent" movies in the back. And I'll have my iPod. But it'll still suck. June 21 Been a little whileHey everybody, I guess it's been a little while, so let me talk about my last couple of days. So, I'll start... Sunday. Sunday... um... Monday. Had my social exam. 94%. YEAH!. Went thriftying with the guys, which isn't really my thing, and naturally, being unadventurous, I didn't get anything. Except a Slurpee, but that doesn't really count. I went to Mountain Bike City, and seeing as with a 2.35 inch tire width, you've got to buy a $20 DownHill race tube. Wow. So, me and my dad replaced the tube, bikes working good. Tuesday (today). Had my math exam. 84%, which I'm fairly pleased with. Went biking. Westside was packed but the skatepark was empty. Rode around for about... a half hour. Got home, wanted a shower because it was so blinking hot but I couldn't, because of the stupid water shortage. (Seems rediculous, doesn't it? Widespread flooding a few days before, and we've got a water shortage.) I went to get a compressor with my dad. Now, people, this isn't just your garage compressor. This sucker is on a 3 ton trailer, complete with generator, diesel engine, and lots of goodies. This packed 8000 psi.(pounds per square inch)(pressure), and will set you back around... $100 grand. Yeah. I already know how to work it. After all, I did have to wait 2 HOURS for my dad to finish "doing business". I got home (finally), and here I am. The end. See ya later Oh yeah, i've been informed it's "spread the love day", so to all my friends and whoever's reading this: I love you guys. It seems really weird to say that. Don't take it seriously. June 17 A sudden realizationHey everybody! I was walking through Chinook Mall (alone) today, listening to some hardcore muzak, and I realized: we've all got to stop thinking about what others think of us, short of being a slob. Girls dress in hardly anything to impress us guys, and us guys are constantly trying to look good for the girls. Why can't we all just be ourselves, and accept everyone for who they really are. Just something I realize just walking around. I got 85% on my Science Exam. KA-CHING! See ya. June 16 Exams... ugh... examsExams... probably the most stressful time of the year. Add that to the fact that I don't know what to do with relationships and lack of sleep, and you're in a whole load of crap. I bombed the French exam. I don't expect anything higher than a 60. Brutal. I can't believe I forgot vocabulary... Tomorrow's my Science exam. It's going to be interesting, but at least I'm pretty good at Science. I took a practice exam and ranked like, 11th in the provence, so it's not that bad, I guess. Math... that'll be interesting. Well, that was a lousy blog, even by my standards. I can't think of anything else :p See ya June 14 What to do?...I'm learning, the hard way, to never get your expectations too high. I've got a girl on my hands, who apparently was my girlfriend, and yet, seemingly the moment we meet, she decides me and my friends are "weird and kinda creepy". What kind of person is that. I guess I could partially blame that on our "weird and kinda creepy" antics, with the whole looking for a pink shirt in Zellers, playing with the shopping cart escalators, and looking at screamo CDs in HMV. So I'm gonna... heck, I don't know what I'm gonna do. Maybe you guys could help me out here... I'm not sure. On one hand, she totally blew me off after seeing me. On the other, who knows if maybe she was joking, if she meant it in a different context, or what? Augh love, what a pain. June 13 On this gloriously crappy MondayWell, the weather's crappy anyways. Has been for the past week. It causes me to become depressed. But that's okay. What I'm really going to talk about is the incredible changes that have come over me and my friends, which I can probably link up with that one word that makes us all cringe... puberty... Sometimes the changes that I've seen are a little more subtle. Some are pretty major. Relationships for example. I've seen friends become involved, heck, I've seen myself become involved, in relationships. Wasn't it 3 or 4 years ago when girls had cooties? Time brings along some major changes. Some are subtle. I've seen friends' personalities completely change. And then there are people who are suddenly leaving our school. This last year was incredible. And as school wraps up, guys, I'd like to thank you for being my friends, for tolerating my wacky antics God bless you all. Sean |
, and for listening when I needed someone to listen. Thanks for keeping me (kinda) out of trouble. Thanks for riding with me, letting me go to your houses to hang out... thanks for everything.|
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